Thursday, April 29, 2010


in college, i had a massive room in the attic of our (six friends and myself) three-story [haunted] house. my room was quiet and creepy with hallways, corners and twists. i never felt completely comfortable alone. i would usually sleep with a light on, and i always needed noise in the room.

keeping my television on at night was tricky too, since the shows i'd want to watch, even if they were pleasant, always seemed to have creepy commercials for horror movies. the slightest things kept me up all night, especially since i'd hear weird and random noises as it was.

and then i found the perfect solution.

gem television! a home-shopping channel devoted entirely to gemstones and jewelry. it was lovely. and it was constant and calming. the stunning gems, the pleasant women with their southern accents describing the jewels. i would make my roommates watch it whenever they were in my room. emily and i really started to get into it. our favorite was this segment where gems were showcased on a revolving lazy-susan, each with a corresponding number for easy ordering. we'd start calling out numbers we liked ("twenty four! five! eleven!") and watch as they would rotate back around. hypnotizing, really.

i knew all of the names of the fancy stones, and i once even dated a boy who was studying geology. that brought gem tv to a whole new level.

at one point though, i called in to order a bag of five hundred (loose) semi-precious gemstones. i wasn't sure how they would be put to use, gazing at them was the only thing i could come up with. and then midway through the call, when they asked for my shipping address, i hung up. i realized then that i had gone too far. what started out as white noise was fast becoming a potentially expensive/useless endeavor. i am too young to be addicted to home shopping channels!


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